My husband left a pile of dirty laundry beside the stairs while we are sharing a vacation home with my sister-in-law. I don’t think it belongs there. I am considering moving it so that my sister-in-law won’t think she has to take care of it. I don’t know that she would. This is insignificant. I simply don’t want to be perceived as disrespectful for leaving it there. And here’s a perfect example of how insidious the patriarchy is: I (a woman) am concerned that I (still a woman) might offend my sister-in-law (also a woman) because of something MY HUSBAND did. Neither one of us actually left the laundry beside the stairs! And, while I realize that this may not reflect too well on my husband, he isn’t really to blame either. That’s just it! He would probably tell you that he did NOT leave it there with the expectation that a woman would take care of it. He’d believe this and so would we. And yet! We do! So he does! And none of us even realize that we’ve stitched another stitch into the straight jacket of inequality.