I’m still so afraid of having people see me trip. But maybe this is important, for other people to see me be human, to see me change, to see me grow

My whole life since 6 yrs old I have been afraid of losing my mom. It was (before I had children) the worst thing I could imagine happening. Then I lost my mom and I survived. And suddenly I had this new perspective on life. Like, if I survived that, think of what else I might be able to do?!

I am learning not to be so concerned with how my life “looks”. I care more about how it FEELS. I have been fooled into believing that if it looks a certain way, it will feel a certain way. But this simply isn’t true. There are plenty of people who look perfect on the outside and are a mess on the inside. And visa versa. Some of the messiest people I know are also the happiest, most spiritual, most down to earth. What is success, really?

Could it simply be growth? Could it feel like making a difference in the world? Leaving it better than I found it? Could it mean raising happy, healthy, well adjusted children? Exploring and being brave? Living a full, present life, on my terms? It doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s, because it ISN’T anyone else’s.

It’s messy, and cluttered, and loud…and incredibly joyous. It’s not perfect, it’s happy!